Thongs
But Bob, why the thongs? Now, I wear Tevas, so let's be clear on what I'm talking about here. During my teenage years I started buying girls whom I was dating animal print thong underwear. I went shopping with my Godsister Kristen for one occasion for the current girl of my affection. We also bought Kristen a thong as she didn't own any. I told her that her boyfriend would thank me later. Then we stumbled onto the men's rack. We both cracked a grin and glanced at each other. It was unspoken. Yes! I should buy one and shock the shit out of Kate, my girlfriend. We sifted through the selection till we happened on the perfect one.
So armed, I drove North to retrieve said girlfriend from her college in Maine for the holidays. We decided to stop on the way back home at my family's ski condo in New Hampshire (not even close to on the way, of course). I changed before leaving, into something far less comfortable. Now, Kate sussed onto the fact that some was up when I didn't want to get involved in any Hanky-Panky whilst on the long dark drive to our destination. It'd've wrecked the surprise, and to me, that mattered more. Yes, I'm a weird one. The only other thing I remember from the drive was that we almost hit a moose. It's a vivid memory, they are Big!
Upon reaching our winter hideaway for that evening, the fire was lit, the champagne uncorked (thanks, Ma) and after sipping champagne from the small of Kate's back, she was presently sitting astride me, and finally unwrapping her surprise, as it were, undoing my jeans to reveal the metallic red thong with a zipper down the front. I can still remember her horrified expression of shock which painted her face for a moment till she tumbled off me immersed in convulsions of laughter. I can still hear it.
An hour later, I was no longer a virgin. Yeah...thongs, I love 'em!
As it goes nowadays, I only wear them in situations where I know I'll be having sex later that night. Usually, when I'm in a relationship (or with an open minded Ozzie). Halfway through the evening I always squirm, suddenly aware of the incredible purpose built wedgie that I've got (it's the 9 year old remembering recess that rebels in me). But, then I remember that the sexy thing that I'm with is going to be taking them off of me in a few hours.
Cool.
So armed, I drove North to retrieve said girlfriend from her college in Maine for the holidays. We decided to stop on the way back home at my family's ski condo in New Hampshire (not even close to on the way, of course). I changed before leaving, into something far less comfortable. Now, Kate sussed onto the fact that some was up when I didn't want to get involved in any Hanky-Panky whilst on the long dark drive to our destination. It'd've wrecked the surprise, and to me, that mattered more. Yes, I'm a weird one. The only other thing I remember from the drive was that we almost hit a moose. It's a vivid memory, they are Big!
Upon reaching our winter hideaway for that evening, the fire was lit, the champagne uncorked (thanks, Ma) and after sipping champagne from the small of Kate's back, she was presently sitting astride me, and finally unwrapping her surprise, as it were, undoing my jeans to reveal the metallic red thong with a zipper down the front. I can still remember her horrified expression of shock which painted her face for a moment till she tumbled off me immersed in convulsions of laughter. I can still hear it.
An hour later, I was no longer a virgin. Yeah...thongs, I love 'em!
As it goes nowadays, I only wear them in situations where I know I'll be having sex later that night. Usually, when I'm in a relationship (or with an open minded Ozzie). Halfway through the evening I always squirm, suddenly aware of the incredible purpose built wedgie that I've got (it's the 9 year old remembering recess that rebels in me). But, then I remember that the sexy thing that I'm with is going to be taking them off of me in a few hours.
Cool.
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