Insurance

Before leaving on this trip, I purchased a 13 month insurance policy through STA Travel. Part of the policy is baggage protection. Below is a list of all the items that I either had stolen, lost or were damaged over the past year.

Clothing

Speedo Swim trunks
White linen Banana Rep. shirt
Ugly Gray Hat
Ugly Pink Hat
Levi's 501 Blue Jeans
1 pair LL Bean socks

Gear

LL Bean minimag flashlight 12.50USD
LL Bean Travel Towel 15USD
Kathmandu Travel Towel
4 x Soapdishes 15USD
STA Travel Power Adaptor/Converter 20USD
STA Travel Money Belt 10USD

Elvis Presley Gold Sunglasses 50USD

Randolph Military Issue Aviators 25USD


Camera Equipment

Nikon USB cable
Sony tripod
Repairs: Nikon Coolpix - Wellington

Auto repairs

Radiator
2 tires
Brakes
Windshield wipers

Thongs

But Bob, why the thongs? Now, I wear Tevas, so let's be clear on what I'm talking about here. During my teenage years I started buying girls whom I was dating animal print thong underwear. I went shopping with my Godsister Kristen for one occasion for the current girl of my affection. We also bought Kristen a thong as she didn't own any. I told her that her boyfriend would thank me later. Then we stumbled onto the men's rack. We both cracked a grin and glanced at each other. It was unspoken. Yes! I should buy one and shock the shit out of Kate, my girlfriend. We sifted through the selection till we happened on the perfect one.

So armed, I drove North to retrieve said girlfriend from her college in Maine for the holidays. We decided to stop on the way back home at my family's ski condo in New Hampshire (not even close to on the way, of course). I changed before leaving, into something far less comfortable. Now, Kate sussed onto the fact that some was up when I didn't want to get involved in any Hanky-Panky whilst on the long dark drive to our destination. It'd've wrecked the surprise, and to me, that mattered more. Yes, I'm a weird one. The only other thing I remember from the drive was that we almost hit a moose. It's a vivid memory, they are Big!

Upon reaching our winter hideaway for that evening, the fire was lit, the champagne uncorked (thanks, Ma) and after sipping champagne from the small of Kate's back, she was presently sitting astride me, and finally unwrapping her surprise, as it were, undoing my jeans to reveal the metallic red thong with a zipper down the front. I can still remember her horrified expression of shock which painted her face for a moment till she tumbled off me immersed in convulsions of laughter. I can still hear it.

An hour later, I was no longer a virgin. Yeah...thongs, I love 'em!

As it goes nowadays, I only wear them in situations where I know I'll be having sex later that night. Usually, when I'm in a relationship (or with an open minded Ozzie). Halfway through the evening I always squirm, suddenly aware of the incredible purpose built wedgie that I've got (it's the 9 year old remembering recess that rebels in me). But, then I remember that the sexy thing that I'm with is going to be taking them off of me in a few hours.

Cool.

American Cuisine

As the major exports of American food are fast food chains, much of the world thinks that our food is crap. Granted, they've got a point, but there is still a lot of excellent dining in the US. This is a bit of guide to various things to eat while in the States.

1. Tex Mex. The only good Tex Mex is in N. America, the rest of the world hasn't a clue how to really make it. Be sure to hit some Tex Mex joints while in the US. Best are the monster burrito stands. Most cities have these somewhere. The burrito is about the same size as a 24oz can of beer. You eat them by standing them on one end, unwrapping the aluminum foil and eating down on the beast of a meal. You will not need anything else to eat, trust me.

2. Breakfast. Though Aussies love their Breaky, I don't think it matches the quality and quantity found in the US. Find a good diner or a good breakfast joint and have a feed.

3. Pizza. In the US we have crusts, something much of the rest of the world is unfamiliar with. There are a couple types of American pizza. First, is the greasy big slices that you can get from any pizza and sandwich shop. These also sell sandwiches which I'll get to. A better quality of pizza are the chains. Above that is a place like Bertucci's, a chain in the US, that makes a very good basic pizza. Finally, there's Pizzeria Uno's. This is a chain all over the states that makes Chicago Deep Dish pizza. It must be tried once.

4. Sandwiches and Subs. Standard American grub. Many people are familiar with Subway which is all over OZ and NZ. This is the fastfood variety of the American sub. The small places are of course much better, or frighteningly worse.

5. Thanksgiving. If you can swing it, try and get to a Thanksgiving feast, if you're in the US during the holiday. It's our best meal of the year. Turkey, stuffing, two kinds of potato, cranberry sauce, two or three deserts, oh I miss Poo's cooking just thinking about it.