Thailand - the home of Tequila Pussy by Stacey the Manx
I'm having so much fun in Thailand, actually never want to leave here. We're in Ko Pha Ngan at the moment and warming ourselves up for the full moon party. Haven't had a night away from alcohol since I've been here. Met loads of really wicked people, and the men where we are staying are sooooooooo fit, I'm in heaven perving!!!
Thailand's taught me a lot about myself since I've been here. Learnt some life lessons, well 2 in fact.............
1 - I am the biggest god damn motherfucking hell of a personal liability when drunk.........
Let me tell you about Sunday night. All started with some drinking games, followed by a lot of dancing on tables (well tell a lie, I was falling off more than dancing). Then I decided to introduce some people to tequila snorting. NB - never mix the Thai whiskey with snorting tequila, you will end up on another planet.......... The story starts to get blurry now. Started pulling a Thai guy (actually the fittest Thai I've ever seen). Then according to eye witness accounts I was seen at a beach party. Then I don't remember a thing, so imagine my surprise when I awake the next morning in a hammock, on my own, 4 resorts away from where I'm staying, still drunk as fuck. I then go on to discover I've lost my shoes and my purse avec le bank card (not ideal). And I'm also sporting cuts, bruises and scraps from my hips to my toes (IM going to be scarred). What a dangerous situation, bless the lord for keeping me safe. Haven't managed to piece anymore as everyone else ended up with very tragic stories too, very funny!!!
2 - Tequila pussy - not a bloody good idea I promise you!!!!
So the next night after the one above, start drinking again. Then this American guy starts talking about how he heard this story of 2 girls who soaked tampons in alcohol and inserted them into their vaginas. According to him its supposed to make you feel like your having an orgasm.[I didn't say anything like that all, Stacey, you liar!] Well next minute, there are tampons on the table [er yeah, that was fun going around and asking girls for those] and then they're in Tom's whiskey/redbull bucket. So then Liz and one of the Irish girls [Ruth] we were with go and put theses tampons in their vaginas and come back loving it. So then me being me has to take it one step way too far!!!! Me and the other Irish girl [Jen] get 2 shots of tequila and soak the tampons in them until all is absorbed. Then proceed to the ladies room and up they go!! My lord, I have never felt like I'm on fire in all my life!!! I felt like I was dissolving from the inside out! [I was too, with laughter] The moral here - don't ever do this. Seriously still burns when I pee!!!!
Anyhow, that's all the life lesson so far, but I've a feeling there's gonna be more!!!!
Thailand's taught me a lot about myself since I've been here. Learnt some life lessons, well 2 in fact.............
1 - I am the biggest god damn motherfucking hell of a personal liability when drunk.........
Let me tell you about Sunday night. All started with some drinking games, followed by a lot of dancing on tables (well tell a lie, I was falling off more than dancing). Then I decided to introduce some people to tequila snorting. NB - never mix the Thai whiskey with snorting tequila, you will end up on another planet.......... The story starts to get blurry now. Started pulling a Thai guy (actually the fittest Thai I've ever seen). Then according to eye witness accounts I was seen at a beach party. Then I don't remember a thing, so imagine my surprise when I awake the next morning in a hammock, on my own, 4 resorts away from where I'm staying, still drunk as fuck. I then go on to discover I've lost my shoes and my purse avec le bank card (not ideal). And I'm also sporting cuts, bruises and scraps from my hips to my toes (IM going to be scarred). What a dangerous situation, bless the lord for keeping me safe. Haven't managed to piece anymore as everyone else ended up with very tragic stories too, very funny!!!
2 - Tequila pussy - not a bloody good idea I promise you!!!!
So the next night after the one above, start drinking again. Then this American guy starts talking about how he heard this story of 2 girls who soaked tampons in alcohol and inserted them into their vaginas. According to him its supposed to make you feel like your having an orgasm.[I didn't say anything like that all, Stacey, you liar!] Well next minute, there are tampons on the table [er yeah, that was fun going around and asking girls for those] and then they're in Tom's whiskey/redbull bucket. So then Liz and one of the Irish girls [Ruth] we were with go and put theses tampons in their vaginas and come back loving it. So then me being me has to take it one step way too far!!!! Me and the other Irish girl [Jen] get 2 shots of tequila and soak the tampons in them until all is absorbed. Then proceed to the ladies room and up they go!! My lord, I have never felt like I'm on fire in all my life!!! I felt like I was dissolving from the inside out! [I was too, with laughter] The moral here - don't ever do this. Seriously still burns when I pee!!!!
Anyhow, that's all the life lesson so far, but I've a feeling there's gonna be more!!!!
