Green Lane, Sherborn

Long time between entries indeed. The Journey of the Phoenix has come to an end, the cycle is over, once more into the ashes, my wings charred, my majestic flight at an end. And so, I begin the cycle anew. I have slumbered, I have rested, recharged and reflected. I am ready.

I spoke with an old friend some time ago, and in my account of the finale she protested that my journey was surely not at an end, the final chapter was yet unwritten, such a cliffhanger does not occur. A few weeks ago, we spoke once more, and discussed the unwritten chapter, the next twist in the tale. Her enthusiasm for the story bubbled over, and I feel it is time to start the next chapter. My story shall move to another blog, as this one is devoted to accounts of my time on the Journey of the Phoenix, as I spread those wings and soared around this World in which we live. I have circled the globe to find myself back at the start, back to the beginning.

For those of you interested in the further chapters and what happens next, please email me for details. I won't bore you with the details, but involves a new journey, and a wild new job where it rain naked people from the sky. As Hunter would say, "When the going gets tough, the professionals get weird." The Wandering Philosopher is going Global.

Gibbon Experience

One of the best things that I heard about while in Laos was The Gibbon Experience. It is a two night/three day tour where one lives in tree huts in the jungles of Laos. There are several treehouses connected by zip lines. Think Medicine Man with Sean Connery. I met several people had been on it and gave good reviews. Sadly, I wasn't able to find their website or number and couldn't book a spot before arriving where they're based out of, they're getting a lot of bookings.

However, I did get their address for those of you who are going to Laos and would like to contact them. The website is: www.gibbonx.org. I suggest checking it out.

Thailand - the home of Tequila Pussy by Stacey the Manx

I'm having so much fun in Thailand, actually never want to leave here. We're in Ko Pha Ngan at the moment and warming ourselves up for the full moon party. Haven't had a night away from alcohol since I've been here. Met loads of really wicked people, and the men where we are staying are sooooooooo fit, I'm in heaven perving!!!

Thailand's taught me a lot about myself since I've been here. Learnt some life lessons, well 2 in fact.............

1 - I am the biggest god damn motherfucking hell of a personal liability when drunk.........

Let me tell you about Sunday night. All started with some drinking games, followed by a lot of dancing on tables (well tell a lie, I was falling off more than dancing). Then I decided to introduce some people to tequila snorting. NB - never mix the Thai whiskey with snorting tequila, you will end up on another planet.......... The story starts to get blurry now. Started pulling a Thai guy (actually the fittest Thai I've ever seen). Then according to eye witness accounts I was seen at a beach party. Then I don't remember a thing, so imagine my surprise when I awake the next morning in a hammock, on my own, 4 resorts away from where I'm staying, still drunk as fuck. I then go on to discover I've lost my shoes and my purse avec le bank card (not ideal). And I'm also sporting cuts, bruises and scraps from my hips to my toes (IM going to be scarred). What a dangerous situation, bless the lord for keeping me safe. Haven't managed to piece anymore as everyone else ended up with very tragic stories too, very funny!!!

2 - Tequila pussy - not a bloody good idea I promise you!!!!

So the next night after the one above, start drinking again. Then this American guy starts talking about how he heard this story of 2 girls who soaked tampons in alcohol and inserted them into their vaginas. According to him its supposed to make you feel like your having an orgasm.[I didn't say anything like that all, Stacey, you liar!] Well next minute, there are tampons on the table [er yeah, that was fun going around and asking girls for those] and then they're in Tom's whiskey/redbull bucket. So then Liz and one of the Irish girls [Ruth] we were with go and put theses tampons in their vaginas and come back loving it. So then me being me has to take it one step way too far!!!! Me and the other Irish girl [Jen] get 2 shots of tequila and soak the tampons in them until all is absorbed. Then proceed to the ladies room and up they go!! My lord, I have never felt like I'm on fire in all my life!!! I felt like I was dissolving from the inside out! [I was too, with laughter] The moral here - don't ever do this. Seriously still burns when I pee!!!!

Anyhow, that's all the life lesson so far, but I've a feeling there's gonna be more!!!!

International Airline Tickets

Two years at STA Travel taught me a lot about airline tickets. Too often people buy the cheapest ticket available, which is not always the best. For someone doing a trip more than six weeks, and sometimes trips less than that, flexibility is a key factor in buying an airline ticket. A ticket may cost $20 more at the outset, but costs less to change down the road. I originally started working for STA Travel because I felt that they had one of the best airline tickets available, and after two years in the company and three years on the road, I still believe they do. So here it is:

STA Student Blue Ticket. What's different about this ticket from other airline tickets is that the ticket belongs to STA Travel, not the airline. This means that all rules governing changes, and refunds go through STA Travel, who is much nicer about these sort of things.

1. Date changes are about $25. You can change the date as many times as you like, including after your flight has left. This means if you miss your flight, you do not lose your ticket, simply pay the change fee and get the next available flight out.

2. Ticket is refundable. Either the whole ticket or partial. If you don't use it, you have two years to refund it. If you buy a round trip ticket and decide not to use the return, you can refund the unused portion. Again, you have two years to do this.

3. Lost tickets can be replaced. The STA Blue ticket is a ticket, not a e-ticket, so it can get lost. No worries, fill out a lost ticket form as soon as you lose it and STA will get a replacement ticket to you.

4. Route can be changed. If you decide you want to change more than the date of your return, but also the route (go back to a different place), that's not a problem. It will cost more than a simple date change, but it's fairly easily done.

These are the reasons that I prefer the STA Blue Ticket. I believe there is another student ticket on the market, but I know STA's best and they have the most offices and affiliates globally. To make changes to a ticket, you must go into an office. However, you can often call ahead and get the changes underway, and visit the office at a later date.

If you think that this is the best ticket for you then go buy one from STA. Make sure you are buying a Student Blue Ticket though, as STA sells many types of student tickets, the Blue is simply one type.

Now, these are student tickets. Before you protest that you're not a student, let me explain this further. For starters, anyone age 25 or under is considered a student. You are eligible for a International Youth card which is equivilent to an ISIC card. Second, if you're married to a student, you're eligible. Third, if you're a teacher, you're eligible for about half the student tickets. Finally, there is the little known Vagabond Clause which allows for career backpackers access to student fares. If you don't qualify for any of the others, email me for more information about the Vagabond Clause.

So, that's about it. Too many times I've seen people have issues changing they're tickets, forced to leave a place because they couldn't refund they're ticket, or other such problems. Blue tickets really are the most flexible ticket on the market, and for that reason I've always thought them the best.

Urban Legends in Australia

Below is an account of flying here in Australia

While on a recreational trip to Ballina and Byron Bay, John Jameson who runs the Fish&Chip shop in Agnes Water and I, Bruce Rhoades (G'Day Bruce!) had a rather unexpected air experience. We were approaching Archerfield, Brisbane to refuel, near the TV towers and about 10 minutes from the runway.

I looked down to my lap and saw a snake there. At first, I thought that John had one of those deeply twisted minds which would think that a plastic snake is a really funny joke.....till the snake moved!

I don't remember what I yelled (though I clearly remembering yelling) at John through the intercom as this metre long snake wound its way down between my legs and onto the rudder pedals.

I then broadcast to the Archerfield tower that I had an emergency to declare as I had a snake in the cockpit.

"Did you say snake or smoke?"

My clarification broke the laws concerning profane language on the airways, but I made my emergency clear.

I asked which runway I could have, and was told to use anyone I wanted. I'd been priority landing, did I want all the emergency services rolled out to meet my plane? The thought of fire engines and ambulenes chaning me down the strip on landing didn't appeal to me [no sense of style, Bruce, always have the fire engines chase you], so I responded in the negative.

Meanwhile, the stowaway had moved up to lounge on the armrest alongside my left are with its head up in an either inquisitive or striking pose. There's a thin line between love and hate with a snake in close proximity, and either side of it's a bitch.

John kept whispering to me, "Don't move, don't move," which was not a comfort at all! We used the time that we had to discuss what type of snake our passenger might be, we rather thought that it was a tree snake, except that I'd never heard of a tree snake with diagonala white pin stripes on its back.

We landed smoothly (there's nothing like a snake on your left arm to make for a smooth landing) and slowed with emergency vehicles in pursuit, armed with rakes, shovels and instruments of destruction. The tower told us we could stop on the runway and exit the craft, if we wished.

By the time we'd stopped, the snake had moved down to John's feet (he was wearing shorts) and stuck its head out an air vent to get a look at our reception committee. It didn't like the look of what it saw, or perhaps it was just shy. In any event, he preferred our company, and retreated into the plane's fuselage.

We exited the aircraft in a calm and safe manner as prescribed by flight attendants everywhere.

An hour later, after having carefully unloading and trying to find or entice the snake that this was his destination, we decided that flying with a tree snake in the tail of the aircraft wasn't such a bad idea, and decided to carry on. John got a large towel in event that it proved necessary to engage in midair snake wrangling [yeah, skydiving's for pussies].

However, it seems that our friend was shy indeed, it had still to reveal itself by the time we reached Ballina. I left John there, and taxied for takeoff, not at all happy that I no longer had a snake-catching mate on the next leg of my trip, and the freeloader had still elected not to disembark, or pay.

However, as I was rolling for takeoff, the snake popped out on John's empty seat, had another look out the air vent, and realized that he was about to miss his destination. Turns out he'd been asleep and missed my anouncement that we'd arrived in Ballina. He exited the aircraft, slithering across the runway as I again took to the sky, soaring with an incredible sense of satisfaction.

This has to be a once in a life time experience and John was a very cool, calm passenger. The Tower told us that they'd never hand an in-flight snake emergency before. This definitely wasn't mentioned aywhere in the curriculum for pilot training.

by Bruce Rhoades (with some editing and revision by me)

Vacilando Library

Bhagavid Ghita (This one's been a bitch to get into and haul around)
"A Time to Kill," John Grisham
"Dead Sea Scrolls Deception," Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh
"Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince," JK Rowling
"Clear and Present Danger," Tom Clancy
"The Vampire Lestat," Anne Rice
"The Hunt for Red October," Tom Clancy
"Without Remorse," Tom Clancy
"The Right Stuff," Tom Wolfe
"Fever Pitch," Nick Hornby
"One for the Road,"
"Down Under," Bill Bryson
"Mr. Nice," Howard Marks
"Code to Zero," Ken Follett
"The Fourth K," Mario Puzo
"The Thornbirds," Colleen McCullough

Insurance

Before leaving on this trip, I purchased a 13 month insurance policy through STA Travel. Part of the policy is baggage protection. Below is a list of all the items that I either had stolen, lost or were damaged over the past year.

Clothing

Speedo Swim trunks
White linen Banana Rep. shirt
Ugly Gray Hat
Ugly Pink Hat
Levi's 501 Blue Jeans
1 pair LL Bean socks

Gear

LL Bean minimag flashlight 12.50USD
LL Bean Travel Towel 15USD
Kathmandu Travel Towel
4 x Soapdishes 15USD
STA Travel Power Adaptor/Converter 20USD
STA Travel Money Belt 10USD

Elvis Presley Gold Sunglasses 50USD

Randolph Military Issue Aviators 25USD


Camera Equipment

Nikon USB cable
Sony tripod
Repairs: Nikon Coolpix - Wellington

Auto repairs

Radiator
2 tires
Brakes
Windshield wipers

Thongs

But Bob, why the thongs? Now, I wear Tevas, so let's be clear on what I'm talking about here. During my teenage years I started buying girls whom I was dating animal print thong underwear. I went shopping with my Godsister Kristen for one occasion for the current girl of my affection. We also bought Kristen a thong as she didn't own any. I told her that her boyfriend would thank me later. Then we stumbled onto the men's rack. We both cracked a grin and glanced at each other. It was unspoken. Yes! I should buy one and shock the shit out of Kate, my girlfriend. We sifted through the selection till we happened on the perfect one.

So armed, I drove North to retrieve said girlfriend from her college in Maine for the holidays. We decided to stop on the way back home at my family's ski condo in New Hampshire (not even close to on the way, of course). I changed before leaving, into something far less comfortable. Now, Kate sussed onto the fact that some was up when I didn't want to get involved in any Hanky-Panky whilst on the long dark drive to our destination. It'd've wrecked the surprise, and to me, that mattered more. Yes, I'm a weird one. The only other thing I remember from the drive was that we almost hit a moose. It's a vivid memory, they are Big!

Upon reaching our winter hideaway for that evening, the fire was lit, the champagne uncorked (thanks, Ma) and after sipping champagne from the small of Kate's back, she was presently sitting astride me, and finally unwrapping her surprise, as it were, undoing my jeans to reveal the metallic red thong with a zipper down the front. I can still remember her horrified expression of shock which painted her face for a moment till she tumbled off me immersed in convulsions of laughter. I can still hear it.

An hour later, I was no longer a virgin. Yeah...thongs, I love 'em!

As it goes nowadays, I only wear them in situations where I know I'll be having sex later that night. Usually, when I'm in a relationship (or with an open minded Ozzie). Halfway through the evening I always squirm, suddenly aware of the incredible purpose built wedgie that I've got (it's the 9 year old remembering recess that rebels in me). But, then I remember that the sexy thing that I'm with is going to be taking them off of me in a few hours.

Cool.